So I just had ice cream with Cory. As he drives up my street, I notice that my garage door is open and I say, "Oh, my parents are home." in a very neutral voice.
"Is that a good or a bad thing?" he asks.
"I don't know," I answer.

So I give him a hug and get out of the car. He drives off as I walk down the driveway.

"Hello," I say to my parents.
"Hi. Who was that?" my  mother asks.
"That was Cory."
"Oh, is he your new beau?"

At this point in time, the container my father is holding slips out of his hand. We laugh, as if it is a reaction to me having a beau. I deny that he's my beau.

My father says, "Oh, but we know you like him."
I say, "How would you know something like that?"
"You must've said it sometime."
"I have never said I've liked Cory to you. I've said he's a jerk, but that's about it."
"Oh, that's right," my mother says. "You've said he's a jerk and that he's self-centered -"
"I never said he's self-centered!" I interject.
"Oh look who's defensive!" my mother exclaims.
"Mother, I'd be this defensive over anyone if you accuse them of being self-centered and they're not. I'm going inside."

"When that car pulled up," my mother starts, "I thought that it was someone coming to pick you up."
"For a late-night rendezous perhaps?" I ask.
"Exactly."
"Well, sorry but he was bringing me HOME."